For Monday.

I’m not what I used to be.
I’m living for this.
For right now.
For tomorrow.
Not for anybody else.
For me.
For one.
I’ve experienced the most amazing feeling.
Flesh to flesh, feeling your warmth on my face.
You’re sleeping beside me.
But I know I’m in your head.
I know that nothing can hurt me as long as I keep my eyes on the horizon.
As long as you are beside me.
I still feel like we’re driving into that amazing sunset.
Oh my God.
It’s too beautiful for words.
I wish I could describe it.
I try to capture this feeling on film.
But it’s much more incredible through my own eyes.
My heart is swelling up with something I have never known before this moment.
The hills are on fire.
It’s all out in front of us.
It seems to never end.
I’m not sure it does.

I’ve never loved so deeply.
I think I finally understand.

12/22/08

Dear Florida,

It’s 18 degrees here.  It’s 2:30pm and the sun is out.  I’m sorry for all the mean things I said about you and how I never appreciated your warm Christmas air.  I want to play Legos on the porch.  And take family Christmas pictures by the pool.  I miss driving with the windows down.  And wearing a hoodie, at the most.  I miss not having to spend 30 minutes wrapping my body up to go check the mail.  I miss hot tub nights.  I actually miss having roommates…To an extent.  I want some ocean air.

Everything is changing.  It’s so weird.  People are growing up.  People who I never expected to.  It stings.  Just a little bit.  I really haven’t prepared myself for this.  You’re right, it’s not a race.  I just think it’s weird.  Very strange.

Don’t get me wrong.  I love where I am at.  I love who I am with.  I love the snow.  I love my new “home.”  It’s just bittersweet, I guess.

Maybe I just realized that you shouldn’t take anything for granted.  Including 80 degree weather in December.

Well, I suppose that is it for now..Take care, stay warm.  Have fun without me.  I’m up north, growing up and learning how to love with everything I have, so cross your fingers for me.  See you soon.

Sincerely,

BethAnne

Scientists couldn’t fix me.

What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul?